I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
