On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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