I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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