i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
