Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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