Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
