How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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