the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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