I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
