the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
