Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
