What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
