she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize