like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
