It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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