I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can you bring me the toilet please
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
