i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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