dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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