$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
