Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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