You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
