the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
