what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I will be naked everywhere
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
