you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
