Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
