Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
