Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
