just tell him i said nine months
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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