Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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