Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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