My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
