still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
