clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
