No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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