Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
