My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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