Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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