I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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