Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize