we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
