She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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