WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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