Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
