If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
