Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
home. puking in laundry basket.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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