Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
