I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
