quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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