Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
