this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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