I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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