i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize