after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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