They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
