sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
