....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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