3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize